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| 【专题】英文幽默笑话------每日轻松一刻 |
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Blood
 医博园版主 
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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 2008-02-25 19:54      
Give up your seat to a lady Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady." "You've done the right thing," says Mommy. "But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap." [hidden segment]
番茄老人 edited on 2008-02-28 13:22
不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 【公告】严肃考风考纪 维护公平公正 |
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番茄老人
 医博园版主
发贴: 1918 积分: 312 得票:
41
状态:
隐身
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2008-02-25 21:57 好创意，笑一笑，十年少！   
天行键，君子以自强不息 地势坤，君子以厚德载物 • 【活动】医考心路 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-02-26 09:53 Dear Wang little sister: 亲爱的王小姐： From see you one eye, i shit love you. 自从看到你的第一眼，我便爱上了你。 Your eyes close, I die;Your eyes open, i come to live. Your eyes close and open again and again, i die again and again. 你的眼睛闭上，我就死了，你的眼睛打开，我又活过来， 你的眼睛眨啊眨，我就死去活来。 Maybe you do not remember me, no matter. When you carefully look at me, you will one see clock. 也许你记不得我，没有关系，当你仔细看着我，你就会一见钟情。 I call Li big great, Toyear 25 我叫李大伟，今年25。（今天是today,所以今年就是toyear吧） My home have four mouth people-papa, mama, I and DD. 我家里有四口人－爸爸、妈妈、我和弟弟。 I am a good man, in a big company work. 我是个好男人，在一家大公司上班。 I do early f**k every day, so that I can have strong body to protect you. 我每天都做早操，这样我会有强壮的身体来保护你。 Please come to eat and sleep with me, or I will cut my hair to be a monk, and find a place where many monks live in to over my life. 请嫁给我吧，否则我将削发为僧，找个庙来了此一生。（可能不知怎样翻译“嫁”吧？） Like Your people 喜欢你的人 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 【公告】严肃考风考纪 维护公平公正 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-02-27 10:30 Only Once A novice lion tamer was being interviewed. "I understand your father was also a lion tamer," the reporter queried. "Yes, he was," the man replied. "Do you actually put your head in the lion's mouth?" "I did it only once," said the new tamer, "to look for Dad." 只有一次 一位驯狮新手正在接受采访。“我知道你的父亲也是个驯狮手，”记者说。 “他过去是。”那人回答说。 “你真的把头伸进过狮子的嘴里吗？” “只有一次，”那位驯狮新手说，“为了找我爸爸。” 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 【公告】严肃考风考纪 维护公平公正 |
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wwt
 一份耕耘，一份收获 医博园版主
发贴: 3099 积分: 486 得票:
18
状态:
离线
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2008-02-28 07:21 Catch a cold During the fight, the boxer swiped the air furiously, but could not hit his opponent. "How am I doing?" he asked the coach at the end of the round. "Well, if you keep this up," replied the coach, "he might feel the wind and catch a cold." 欢迎来到医博园！希望您在这里有所收获，结识更多朋友！ • 【公告】2008年护理专业（士）资格考试查分通知 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-02-28 12:37 拳击手感冒啦。再来一则： I'll Go There Myself There was once a landlord who always pretended he was knowledgeable though he was completely unable to read or write. One day when the landlord was chatting with his guests, a servant came in and gave him a letter which asked him to lend a cow. The landlord was afraid that his guests would know he was unable to read or write, so he opened the envelope and glanced over the words. Then he said to the servant, "OK, please tell him I'll go there myself in a few minutes." 我自己过去 从前，有一个地主是个既不会读也不会写的文盲，但他却偏要在人前装作很有学问。一天，当地主正和宾客聊天的时候，仆人走进来递给他一封信，信上请他出借一头牛。地主害怕被客人知道自己是个文盲，于是他打开信封，瞧了瞧信上的字，然后对仆人说：“好的，你告诉他我等一下自己过去。” 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 【原创】请大家交流一下检验前质量控制的问题 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-02-29 10:16 Mr Wood began his trip last Friday. Two days later when he was traveling in the country by car, he saw a dog behind a fat man. As the car came near them, thedog suddenly started to cross the road. Of course the car hit the poor animal and killed it. Mr Wood stopped his car and walked to the man."I'm very sorry that this happened."he said ," How much shall I pay ? Will ten dollars be enough?" "Oh yes ," said the man ."Ten dollars will be quite enough." Mr Wood put his hand into his pocket, but he only found five dollars in his pocket." Sorry, sir , I've only got five dollars." said Mr Wood. "No problem. That's enough," the fat man replied." Thinks a lot. That's very kind of you ." Mr Wood thanked the fat man and drove away. When the car went away, the fat man looked down at the dog and thought, " I want to know whose dog it is." 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 【进展】2008心脏节律异常装置治疗指南 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-01 11:02 who ' s heart is better A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital. The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away. "you’re in luck, two hearts just became available, so you will get to choose which one you want. One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker". The man quickly responds, "the attorney’s". "Wait! Don’t you want to know a little about them before you make your decision?" The man says, "I already know enough. Social workers have bleeding hearts and the attorney’s probably never used his. So I’ll take the attorney’s!" 谁的心更好？ 一个人心脏病突发被送进了医院。医生告诉他除非马上做心脏移植手术，否则他将活不成了。“你很幸运，我们刚好有两个心脏在这儿，所以你必须选择其中一个。它们分别属于一个律师和一个社会工作者。” 病人很快回答：＂律师的那个。” “等等！在作决定之前，难道你不需要了解多一点他们的情况吗？” 病人说：“我知道的够多的了。社会工作者都是热心人，而律师可能从来都没有用过他的良心。所以我选择律师的心脏。” 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 【公告】严肃考风考纪 维护公平公正 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-02 11:45 my little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不识字 布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！ 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。” 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 【讨论】08年的执考分数线之猜想篇 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-03 08:39 I Didn't Know That I Was So Far Back Already! A big battle was going on during the First World War. Guns were firing, and shells and bullets were flying about everywhere. After an hour of this, one of the soldier decided that the fighting was getting too dangerous for him, so he left the front line and began to go away from the battle. After he had walked for an hour, he saw an officer coming towards him. The officer stopped him and said, "Where are you going?" "I'm trying to get as far away as possible from the battle that's going on behind us, sir." the soldier answered. "Do you know who I am?" the officer said to him angerly. "I'm your commanding officer." The soldier was very surprised when he heard this and said, "My God, I didn't know that I was so far back already!" 真没想到我已经往回跑了这么远! 第一次世界大战期间，一场大战役正在进行。枪炮轰鸣，子弹横飞。这样持续了一小时后，有个士兵认为战斗太危险了，所以他离开前线，开始逃离战场。走了一个小时后，他看见一个军官朝他走过来。军官拦住他，问道：“你到哪儿去？” “长官，我正尽力躲开身后正在进行的战斗。”士兵回答说。 “你知道我是谁吗？”军官生气地说：“我是你们的指挥官。” 士兵听了十分惊讶地说：“天哪，真没想到我已经往回跑了这么远!” 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 【公告】严肃考风考纪 维护公平公正 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-04 20:34 A Smugglar The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams. "What's in here?" he asked. "Dirt," the driver replied. "Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them." Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go. A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck. "What's in the bags this time?" he asked. "Dirt, more dirt." said the man. Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil. The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender. Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time." Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars." 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 【转载】低年资的医生同志自我保护必读 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-04 20:34 走私犯 一个形迹可疑的人开车来到边境，哨兵迎了上去。哨兵在检查汽车行李箱时，惊奇地发现了六个接缝处鼓得紧绷绷的大口袋。 “里面装的是什么？”他问道。 “土。”司机回答。 “把袋子拿出来”，哨兵命令道：“我要检查。” 那人顺从地把口袋搬了出来。确实，口袋里除了土以外，别无他特。哨兵很不情愿地让他通过了。 一周后，那人又来了，哨兵再次检查汽车上的行李箱。 “这次袋子里装的是什么？”他问道。 “土，又运了一些土。”那人回答。 哨兵不相信，对那些袋子又进行了检查，结果发现，除了土以外，仍旧一无所获。 同样的事情每周重演一次，一共持续了六个月。最后，哨兵被弄得灰心丧气，干脆辞职去当了酒吧侍者。有天夜里，那个形迹可疑的人碰巧途经酒吧，下车喝酒。那位从前的哨兵急忙迎上前去对他说，“我说，老兄，你要是能帮我一个忙，今晚的酒就归我请客。你能不能告诉我，那段时间你到底在走私什么东西？” 那人俯身过来，凑近侍者的耳朵，裂开嘴笑嘻嘻地说：“汽车。” 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 折腾你的视角 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-05 12:43 Good News And Bad News "There's good news and bad news," the divorce lawyer told his client. "I could sure use some good news," sighed the client. "What's it?" "Your wife isn't demanding that your future inheritances be included in the settlement." "And the bad news?" "After the divorce, she's marrying your father." 好消息和坏消息 “有好消息，也有坏消息，”离婚律师告诉他的当事人。 “我总能利用一些好消息吧，”当事人吧了口气说，“是什么好消息？” “你妻子没有要求将你未来的继承财产也划入裁决的范围。” “那么坏消息呢？” “离婚以后，她将与你父亲结婚。” 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 【资源】2009年卫生专业技术资格大纲下载索引贴 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-06 23:35 A Nail Or A Fly? An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour. So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed. Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding! 钉子还是苍蝇？ 一位视力正在衰退的老绅士住进了一家旅馆的客房。他双手各拿一瓶酒。在墙上有只苍蝇，他误以为是枚钉子。他把两只瓶子朝上一挂，瓶子掉下来摔碎了，酒洒了一地。一个女服务员发现发生的事情以后，对他深表同情，决定帮他个忙。 于是，第二天早上他到楼顶花园散步时，她把一枚钉子钉在了苍蝇停过的地方。 这里，老人回到了房里。倒洒的酒味让他想起了那件事。他抬头往墙上一看，苍蝇又停在了那儿!他轻手轻脚地走近，使尽全力拍了一掌。听到一声大叫，好心的女服务员冲进房来。让她大为吃惊的是，可怜的老头正坐在地板上，牙关紧咬，右手滴血不止。 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 【公告】我搜集的卫生部门负责人联系方式 |
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番茄老人
医博园版主
发贴: 1918 积分: 312 得票:
41
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-07 23:07 [Keys? Kiss? A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States. After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said, "Give me the keys." The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss. Seeing this, my friend thought that the student hadn't heard him clearly, so he repeated. "Give me the keys." The Italian shrugged his shoulders. Then, he threw his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him on both cheeks. 钥匙还是接吻 我的一位朋友在给一个成人学生班级上英语课。他们都是新近来美国生活的。在一张桌子上摆了许多日常用品之后，他请全班同学给他挑出尺子，书本，钢笔等。课进行得井然有序，学生们对自己所做的似乎很感兴趣，也很认真。后来轮到一名来自意大利的学生，我的朋友说：“给我钥匙。”那人看起来非常吃惊，也有点手足无措。看到这种情况，我的朋友想是他没有听清楚，于是又重复了一遍：“给我钥匙。”那位意大利学生耸了耸肩。接着，他伸出胳膊搂住老师的脖子在双颊上亲了两下。 天行键，君子以自强不息 地势坤，君子以厚德载物 • 【资源】检验与护理 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-09 17:07 Class and Ass Professor Laurie of Glasgow put his notice on his door: "Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today." A student, after reading the notice, rubbed out the "c". Later Professor Laurie came along, and entering into the spirit of the joke, rubbed out the "l". 班和笨驴 格拉斯哥的劳里教授在门上贴了这样一个通知：“劳里教授今天不见他的班级。” 一个学生读了通知后，擦掉了字母“c”(lass：姑娘)。 后来劳里教授来了，也想开开玩笑，他擦掉了字母“l”(ass：笨驴)。 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 武汉亚洲心脏病医院诚聘 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-10 21:22 士兵坐飞机有美女陪伴的高招 Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it. When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in. Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip. 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 【讨论】反复胸闷、气短10个月余,加重伴不能平卧4个月 |
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番茄老人
医博园版主
发贴: 1918 积分: 312 得票:
41
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-11 22:05 An Alarm Clock A young man went to a mountain village for his holiday. One night he stayed at a small hotel near a train station. Before going to bed, he went to the owner of the hotel and said to the old man, “ Excuse me, sir. Will you please wake me up at a quarter to five? I'm going to take the five o'clock train tomorrow morning. ” “ Oh, sorry, ” the owner said, “ I am afraid I can't. I don't get up that early. ” The young man started to go back to his room when he stopped and asked, “ Do you have an alarm clock? That would help me. ” “ Yes, here it is, young man. ” The young man took the clock happily and thanked the old man. But when he looked at it carefully, there appeared to be something wrong with it. “ Does it ring on time? ” he asked the old man. “ Sure! Just shake it when it's time to get up, and it'll ring. ” 一只闹钟 一个年轻人到一个山村去度假。那天夜里，他住宿在火车站附近的一个旅馆里。 上床睡之前，他对旅馆老板——一个老头儿说：“对不起，先生，请问您能在五点差一刻叫醒我吗？我明天早晨要乘五点的火车。” “哦，很抱歉”，旅馆老板说，“恐怕不行，我不可能起那么早。” 年轻人正想回到FANG间去，又停住了问：“那你有闹钟吗？或许它能帮助我。” “我有，给你，年轻人。” 年轻人很高兴地拿了闹钟，谢了老头儿。但当他仔细查看了闹钟后，发现似乎有毛病。 “它能准时闹吗？”他问老头儿。 “那当然！时间一到，你摇一摇，他就会响的。” 天行键，君子以自强不息 地势坤，君子以厚德载物 • 【资源】检验与护理 |
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jack99
 医博园版主
发贴: 239 积分: 222 得票:
21
状态:
离线
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2008-03-12 21:22 Father: I promised to buy you a car if you passed your examination, and you have failed. What were you doing last term? Son: I was learning to drive a car. 父亲：我曾向你许诺，如果你考试及格就给你买俩小汽车，可你却未能做到。你上学期一直在干什么呀？ 儿子：我在学开汽车。 欢迎到文献检索版学习指导 • 【活动】医考心路 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-13 19:52 West Point My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point." One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point." 西点军校 父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的橄榄球赛。开始之前，我们到处转了转，碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。“好让我们的儿子知道，如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。” 一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员，问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。他们解释说：“我们想让儿子知道他没来西点军校错过了什么。” 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 【转载】执业医师综合笔试合格分数线的公布时间的最新通知（转） |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
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隐身
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2008-03-14 21:24 The Hurds 挑媳妇 Once upon a time there was a girl who was beautiful, but lazy and negligent. When she had to spin she was so ill tempered that if there was a little knot in the flax, she at once pulled out a whole heap of it, and scattered it about on the ground beside her. Now she had a servant who was industrious, and who gathered together the discarded flax, cleaned it, spun it well, and had a beautiful dress woven out of it for herself. A young man had courted the lazy girl, and the wedding was about to take place. On the eve of the wedding, the industrious girl was dancing merrily about in her beautiful dress, and the bride said, Ach, wat kann das M??ken springen in minen Slickerlingen! Ah, how that girl can jump about, in my hurds! The bridegroom heard this, and asked the bride what she meant by it. So she told him that the girl was wearing a dress made from the flax which she had thrown away. When the bridegroom heard this, and saw how lazy she was, and how industrious the poor girl was, he gave her up and went to the other girl, and chose her as his wife. 从前有位姑娘长得很漂亮，但很懒惰又马虎。如果叫她纺织，她总是心浮意躁，麻里有个小结，她就会扯掉一大堆麻，扔在身边的地上。有一个勤快的丫头，把摔掉的麻收拢来，洗乾净，又精心地纺了一遍，用它织成了一件漂亮的衣服。一个年轻人向那懒姑娘求婚，他们很快就要举行婚礼了。在结婚的前一晚，那勤快的丫头穿着她那美丽的衣服，高兴地来他家跳舞，新娘说： “啊呀，那丫头穿着我不要的东西， 竟来堂而皇之地跳舞！“ 新郎听见了，很是迷惑，问新娘说这话是甚么意思。於是她跟他说，那女孩穿的衣服，是她扔掉的麻织成的。新郎听到这话，晓得她懒，而那穷女孩勤快，就毫不犹豫地撇下了她，走到了那勤快的姑娘跟前，选了她做了自己的妻子。 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 【公告】2009年卫生专业技术资格考试推荐用书 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-15 17:00 外国人："Hi." 前台小姐："You have what thing?"(你有什么事？) 外国人："Can you speak Eng-lish?"(你会讲英语吗) 前台小姐："If I not speak English， I am speaking what?"(如果我不会说，那我现在说的什么) 外国人："Can anybody else speak English? "(还有谁能讲英语吗) 前台小姐："You yourself look. all people are playing，no people have time， you can wait， you wait， you not wait， you go."(你自己看看，所有人都在玩呢，都没空，你愿意等就等，不愿意就走你) 一起呵英语站 外国人："Good heavens. anybody here can speak English?"(我的上帝，这儿有谁会说英语吗) 前台小姐："Shout what shout， quiet a little， you on earth have what thing."(喊什么喊，安静点，你到底有什么事) 老外："I want to speak to your head."(我想和你的领导谈谈) 前台小姐："Head not zai.You tomorrow come."(头儿不在，明再来吧) 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 解读追女孩的绝招 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-16 12:34 A society youth writes ironically to the young lady in the case：“Dear Miss Smith， perhaps you remember I proposed to you last night， and I do not now recall whether you said yes，or no．” “Dear George， I remember I said‘no’ to someone last night， but I had forgotten who it was．” 一个社交界的青年给一位年轻女士挖苦地写道：“亲爱的史密斯小姐，您也许记得我昨晚向您求婚，但我现在记不起您到底是答应了还是没答应。” “亲爱的乔治，我记得昨晚是对一个人说了‘不’，但忘了那人是谁。” 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 【讨论】病例：双肾盂，双输尿管畸形 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-17 21:43 How Much Is It? It was winter, and Mrs. Hermann wanted to do a lot of shopping, so she waited until it was Saturday, when her husband was free, and she took him to the shops with her to pay for everything and to carry her parcels. They went to a lot of shops, and Mrs. Hermann bought a lot of things. She often stopped and said, "Look, Joe! Isn't that beautiful!" He then answered, "All right, dear, How much is it?" and took his money out to pay for it. It was dark when they came out of the last shop, and Mr. Hermann was tired and thinking about other things, like a nice drink by the side of a warm fire at home. Suddenly his wife looked up at the sky and said, "Look at that beautiful moon, Joe!" Without stopping, Mr. Hermann answered, "All right, dear, How much is it?" 多少钱？ 严冬来临，荷曼太太想采购一大批东西，所以她就一直等到周六丈夫有空的时候，她拖着他去商店付钱连带拎包裹。他们去了许多商店，荷曼太太买了一大堆东西。她经常停下脚步说道：“看，乔伊!那个多漂亮!” 他总是回答：“好吧!亲爱的，多少钱？”然后掏钱去付款。 他们从最后一家商店出来的时候夜幕已经降临，荷曼先生已精疲力尽了。他心里想着其它事情，比如在家里暖暖的火炉边呷口美酒。突然他太太仰望天空，说道：“看那月亮多美，乔伊!” 荷曼先生不加思索答道：“好吧，亲爱的，多少钱？” 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 【原创】前两天照的小乌龟，呵呵 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-18 19:19 The Advantage of Wearing Glasses Helen's eyes were not very good, so she usually wore glasses, but when she was nineteen and began to go out with a young man, she never wore glasses when she was with him. When he came to the door to take her out, she would take her glasses off, and when she got back home again and he left, she would put them on. One day her mother asked her: "But Helen, why do you never wear glasses when you are with Jim? He takes you to such lovely places in his car, but you can't see anything. " "Well, mother," said Helen. " I look prettier to Jim when I'm not wearing my glasses and he looks better to me, too." 戴眼镜的好处 海伦的视力不太好，所以他常戴眼镜。她十九岁时开始和一个男青年交朋友。当和男朋友在一起时海伦从不戴眼镜。每当男朋友到门口接她外出的时候，她就摘下眼镜；回到家里，男朋友走了以后，海伦才戴上眼镜。 有一天妈妈问她：“海伦，你和吉姆在一起时为什么从不戴眼镜？他开车带你去优美的地方玩儿，可你什么也看不见。” 海伦说：“嗯，妈妈，我不戴眼镜时吉姆看着我更漂亮些，同时我也觉得他显得更顺眼一些。” 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 【讨论】08年的执考分数线之猜想篇 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-19 19:12 一、 有一对外国老夫妇到内蒙古农村住了下来。因为村里的人无法和他们交流，老夫妇很寂寞，就养了一只猫。一天早上 ，老夫妇正梳理猫毛，一个人从旁边过来，冲着俩人说“鼓捣猫呢”。夫妇俩随即冲着来人说：“Good morning .”傍晚时分，二人正在把晾在外边的衣服收起来，路过的一个村民冲着他们说：“鼓捣衣服呢！”二人这回反应很快说：“Good evening.”私下里老夫妇俩感叹，合着他们这里的人都会说英语呀！ 二、 小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不 去？ 小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！ 三、 一对热恋中的男女。女生非常没有安全感，于是对着男友说：“SAY ‘I LOVE YOU!! ’SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!” 男的答道：“IT!” 四、 一位在美的留学生，想要考国际驾照。在考试时因为过于紧张，看到地上标线是向左转。 u<`E 他不放心的问道:turn left？ 监考官回答: right. 于是他立刻向右转…… 五、 一天，我准备坐车去学校，正在路上走着，一辆车快速从我面前穿过，并且撞到一位正在观光的日本人。当然情况很是吓人，路边的好心 人立刻冲上前去问道：“How are you?”日本人上气不接下气的回答：“F..ine,th..ank you...and you?”围观的人顿时愣住。。。由此可知日本人的英文是死记硬背的！ 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 【转载】执业医师综合笔试合格分数线的公布时间的最新通知（转） |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-20 17:17 Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!! 杰瑞去看精神病医生。“医生，我有些不对劲。每次睡觉的时候，我都感觉有人在床下。我要疯了！”“给我一年时间，”医生说，“每周来三次，我会治好你。”“费用是多少呢？”“每次一百美元。”“我会认真考虑的。”杰瑞答道。六个月后医生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“为什么你再也没来呢？”医生问。“一次一百块钱吗？有个酒吧服务生收了十块钱就把我治好了。”“真的？他怎么做到的？”“他让我把床腿锯掉。现在那没人了！” 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 【进展】2008心脏节律异常装置治疗指南 |
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番茄老人
医博园版主
发贴: 1918 积分: 312 得票:
41
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-21 21:53 One day this rich guy was having a party at his house. He was loaded, and he had everything; money, a big house inBeverly Hills, girls, cars, planes; anything he wanted.The guy was also a little eccentric, and he had filled his pool with crocodiles.So there he was, him and his friends all standing around drinking, = getting lit and partying next to the pool. The guy gets up on the = lifeguard tower and all his friends look up. He calls for silence and says "OK, the first person the swims across my pool will get all my money." No one moves. The guy looks over the crowd and says:=20 "OK, the first person that swims across my pool gets all my money and my house." Still no one moves. "OK then, the first person the swims across my pool gets all my money, my house and all my cars and planes."Still, no one moves, not even a eye blinks this time. "OK then, all my money, my house, all my cars, all my planes, all my property, all my stocks and bonds and investments and all the girls = you can handle; everything I own." "Splash!" Someone＇s in the pool. Crocodiles are all over him, but he rolls over like Tarzan, he＇s all over the place, fighting and dodging. Finally he gets out of the pool on the other side. The rich guy on the tower jumps downand runs over to him."That was incredible! I never thought that I would ever see that done! Do you want the money now or later?" "I don＇t want the money." "Do you want the house now or later?" "I don＇t want the house." "Do you want the cars and planes now or later?" "I don＇t want the cars or the planes." "Do you want the bonds, stocks and stuff now or later?" "I don＇t want that either." "Do you want the girls now or later?" "I don＇t want the girls." The rich guy looks at him and says "Well what the hell do you want?!?!" "I want the bastard that pushed me in." 天行键，君子以自强不息 地势坤，君子以厚德载物 • 【原创】2010年后乡村医生的去向 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-22 19:31 An Explanation of Tardiness In some Government offices the clerks， upon arrival in themorning， have to sign their names in an“attendance book”．This book provides space for signature， time of arrival， and“remarks”． Ten minutes after the hour an official draws a redline under the last arrival's name， and all those coming subsequently are expected to furnish an explanation of their tardinessin the“remarks” column． When a real“London particular①” occurs the number“below the line” is legion ；the first of them wirtes：“Delayedby fog，” and the rest scribble a“ditto”． One morning—a foggy one—Mr． Jones became a proud father；but even this only caused him to be about eleven minutes late． Proudly he wrote in explanation：“Wife had twins，”which was followed in due course by the usual string of “ditto's”！ 迟到的原因 在一些政府机关里，每天早晨到达办公室时职员们都要在一本“签到簿”上签上他们的名字。这本签到簿留出空格签名，写签到时间，还有“备注”。上班时间过后十分钟，一个官员就在最后一个人的名字下面划一道红线。以后来的每一个人都必须在“备注”栏里注明迟到的原因。 当真正的“伦敦大雾”出现的时候，“红线以下”的名字就很多。第一个迟到的人写上“因大雾延误时间”，其他的人，在下面草草写上“?R”（同上）。 一天早上——一个大雾迷漫的早晨——琼斯先生骄傲地当上了父亲；但即使是这种事也只让他迟到了十一分钟。他自豪地写上他的原因：“妻子生了一对双胞胎，”到一定的时候，这个解释下面照例又跟了一串“?R”。 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 解读追女孩的绝招 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-23 12:49 I got an A in math MR BROWN was born in a poor family. He couldn’t go to school when he was young. Now he’s a porter and works at a station. He doesn’t think it’s necessary to know much about science. His son, Bill, began to go to school last year. The boy likes nothing but playing. He doesn’t listen to the teachers in class and can’t do his homework after class. It’s the hardest thing for him to do math exercises. Yesterday evening, Mrs Brown heard Bill crying in the next room while she and her husband were watching TV. She came up to him and asked, “What’s the matter, Bill?” “I can’t do my math homework,” said the boy. “Maybe your father can help you,” said his mother. Then she asked her husband to help their son with his math. Mr Brown said, “But I don’t know math, either.” “It doesn’t matter,” said his wife. “You’ll only coax him out of crying.” Mr Brown had to do as his wife said. The next afternoon Bill came back and showed his exercise book to his father. The man had a look at it and shouted to his wife, “Come here quickly, dear! I got an A in math!” 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 【转载】执业医师综合笔试合格分数线的公布时间的最新通知（转） |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-25 21:08 Presents To Mother There was a woman who had three sons. When they had grown up the sons left home went out on their own and prospered years later. Getting back together they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said, “I will build a big house for our mother.” The second said, “I will send her a Mercedes with a driver.” The third said, “Remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible And you know she can’t see very well. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot recites it.” Soon thereafter mom sent out her letters of thanks. “Milton,” she wrote to one son, “the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room but I have to clean the whole house.” “Gerald,” she wrote to another, “I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude.” “Dearest Donald,” she wrote to her third son, “you have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious.” 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 卫生部北京医院招聘通知 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-25 21:10 你知道母亲最需要什么吗 一个女人有3个儿子。长大成人后，儿子们纷纷出外谋生，数年后功成名就。回到家乡，他们聚在一起，商量送什么礼物给年迈的母亲。 第一个说：“我要给母亲建一所大房子。” 第二个说：“我要把一辆梅塞德斯连同司机一起送给母亲。” 第三个说：“你们还记得吧？妈妈特别喜欢读《圣经》。你们也知道，她的眼现在有点花了。我要送她一只非同寻常的鹦鹉，这只鹦鹉可以将整部《圣经》背诵下来，神父们花了12年的时间才教会它。妈妈只需要说出篇章、段落，这只鹦鹉就能把它背出来。” 之后不久，母亲给儿子们分别回信表示感谢。 “米尔顿，”她在信中给一个儿子写道，“你为我建的房子实在有点太大了，我只住一个房间，却需要打扫整所房子。” “杰罗德，”她给另一个儿子写道，“我太老了，不能再出去旅游了。大部分时间我都待在家里，那辆梅塞德斯很少用。而且，那个司机也太粗鲁了！” “我最亲爱的唐纳德，”在给第三个儿子的信中她写道，“你最知道妈妈需要什么，那只小鸡非常好吃。” 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 【公告】卫生部关于修订《医师资格考试暂行办法》第三十四条的通知 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-26 23:51 who ' s heart is better A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital. The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away. "you’re in luck, two hearts just became available, so you will get to choose which one you want. One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker". The man quickly responds, "the attorney’s". "Wait! Don’t you want to know a little about them before you make your decision?" The man says, "I already know enough. Social workers have bleeding hearts and the attorney’s probably never used his. So I’ll take the attorney’s!" 谁的心更好？ 一个人心脏病突发被送进了医院。医生告诉他除非马上做心脏移植手术，否则他将活不成了。“你很幸运，我们刚好有两个心脏在这儿，所以你必须选择其中一个。它们分别属于一个律师和一个社会工作者。” 病人很快回答：＂律师的那个。” “等等！在作决定之前，难道你不需要了解多一点他们的情况吗？” 病人说：“我知道的够多的了。社会工作者都是热心人，而律师可能从来都没有用过他的良心。所以我选择律师的心脏。” 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 【资源】检验与护理 |
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Blood
医博园版主
发贴: 759 积分: 276 得票:
11
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-27 17:43 I"LL CHANGE MY NAME At the age of 16,Eddie decided to leave home and join a theater compang.His father was appalled. "A son of mine on the stage?It's a disgrace!"he said angrily,"What if the neighbours find out?" "I'll change my name," Eddie replied. "Change your name!" his father screamed,"What if you're a success? How will the neighbours know it's my son?" 译文: 我会改个名字 艾迪１６岁了，他决定离开家去参加一个剧团。他的爸爸非常震惊。 “我的儿子上台演戏？真丢人！”他生气地说：“邻居们知道了会怎么想？” “我会改个名字的。”艾迪说。 “改名字！”他爸爸大喊道：“那如果你出了名怎么办？邻居们怎么能知道那是我儿子呢？” 不自见，不自明，不自矜，不自伐。 • 【原创】2010年后乡村医生的去向 |
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番茄老人
医博园版主
发贴: 1918 积分: 312 得票:
41
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-28 16:41 The Fuel One day, Mr Caterpillar decided to hitch a ride to town. As he was standing by the roadside, a family of bees came by in a little car and offered him a ride. Gratefully, he accepted. After putting along merrily for a few kilometres, the engine sputtered, and the car rolled to a halt. Without saying a word, Papa Bee alighted and urinated into the fuel intake. When he turned the starter, the enginestarted up, much to Mr Caterpillar's amazement! However, he did not say a word. The car went on for quite some distance before the engine died again. This time, it was Mother Bee who urinated into the fuel intake, and again, the car started up after that. The process was then repeated again for Baby Bee. By the time the engine died for the fourth time, the little car was only a few kilometres from town. Not wanting to appear unsophisticated, Mr Caterpillar got out of the car without a word, and started opening the fuel cap. In a flash, Papa Bee got out of the car. "What are you doing?", asked Papa Bee. "I'm going to piss in the fuel intake, just like you did",said Mr Caterpillar. "Oh, no", said Papa Bee patiently, "that won't do. This car only runs on Bee Pee!" 天行键，君子以自强不息 地势坤，君子以厚德载物 • 【资源】2009年卫生专业技术资格大纲下载索引贴 |
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番茄老人
医博园版主
发贴: 1918 积分: 312 得票:
41
状态:
隐身
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2008-03-29 14:46 |